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Heartbreak 1 of 2: Coming Home

I realize I've been lacking in my posts as of late. I've been a little bit down lately and I've narrowed it down to two reasons: 1) Coming home has been extremely difficult and 2) As much as I hate to admit it to myself, a boy. 

I'm not quite ready to publicly display my boy troubles, so let's talk about reason one. Coming home.

If you're anything like me, once the travel bug hit there was no getting rid of it. It feels like I was born to travel. Like it's in my blood. Maybe I'm just a naive 23 year old, but I've always been my best self when I'm off somewhere where the language, the food and the land is unfamiliar. Somewhere where hand signals and a broken conversation is the best form of communication, yet making friends is easy.

After every trip, coming home has been the same. Excitement at first. Everyone wants to see you and hear your stories, but after a couple weeks that gets old. And you realize that going away didn't change your everyday life and the people in it, it only changed you. Don't get me wrong, I am always more than ecstatic to see my family and friends again, but "real life" always settles in again, and much too soon.

This summer I spent 3 months in Asia. It was the longest trip I have ever taken and it still didn't feel long enough. The night before my return flight to Calgary I sat in my hotel room in Kuta, Bali. All I could think about was all the things I didn't get a chance to do while I was there and how one day soon I would be back to extend my experience. I then realized something that I think I had known for a while, but hadn't fully accepted. My life from here on out was going to be formed around travel. I would come home, work to save, and then be off again. Simple.

Not so much. I am definitely taking steps to be able to save enough to get on the road again, but in this economy it's proving to be a bit tough. With rent, the repayment of student loans, groceries and gas it certainly all begins to add up. I've been reading article after article on money saving tips. I've begun research on the best teaching english abroad programs to help fund my travels while I'm out there. I keep in contact with friends I met during my travels and follow travel posts to keep me inspired. But this in between stage is always a struggle. When I know I would rather be back in Asia, in Costa Rica, or really anywhere else, but am not currently in a position to be able to do so. I feel anxious that I'm not doing enough, but also feel like I'm doing all that I possibly can. I'm scared that I'm wasting time working and trying to save money at home, when I should just take the leap and get on the road and figure it out as I go. It's a constant internal battle that feels never-ending.

I know my fellow travellers all go through the same thing. Aching for an unknown place they have yet to discover. So I'm curious to know, what are your remedies for dealing with coming home? What are some other tips that have helped you to get through it/ that have allowed you to continue travelling. What helps the heartache go away until you're on the next flight? Please send me an email at caylie.smith@hotmail.ca or you can contact me through Instagram at @notyouraveragetravel. Help a girl out!

Caylie Smith

Not Your Average Travel

"Whatever is good for your soul, do that"

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